I recently found out that I passed my background investigation for the United States Border Patrol. I'm supposed to be getting an EOD (entrance on duty) date within the next 30-60 days. Here's a taste of what I'll be doing for a job.
Shaking hands with various ex-presidents of the US (while on horseback, of course)
Shooting large and expensive weapons. (And free unlimited ammo)
Driving boats and stuff.
Get a 4x4 truck, dunebuggy, or quad and unlimited gas to go drive around.
Snake wrangling (not the most dangerous creature)
I get paid to do this crap. Are you kidding me?